Make Men Masculine Again

7,530,363 Views
Aug 6, 2018

Rape, murder, war – all have one thing in common: Men. The solution seems simple: make men less toxic – make men less masculine. In this video, Allie Stuckey, Host of "Allie" on CRTV & "Relatable" podcast, explains why demonizing masculinity is not the solution, but the problem.

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Want healthy families and strong communities? Then you want families and communities filled with strong fathers.

  • “According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 19.7 million children, more than 1 in 4, live without a father in the home,” the National Fatherhood Initiative reports. “Consequently, there is a father factor in nearly all social ills facing America today.”View Source
  • In 2008, then Senator Barack Obama stressed the importance of strong fathers: “Of all the rocks upon which we build our lives ... family is the most important. And we are called to recognize and honor how critical every father is to that foundation.”View Source
  • Healthy families and strong communities depend on the leadership, protective instincts and courage of good men.View Source

When you try to make men more like women, you don’t get less “toxic masculinity,” you get more. 

  • When masculine energy is properly harnessed, it is a tool for good, not for harm.View Source
  • “Confident, self-assured men – the kind our society needs – don’t rape women. They don’t harass their female employees. Brave men don’t bully their peers. Strong men don’t shoot up schools. They don’t patronize or hurt others to prove their masculinity,” writes Allie Stuckey. “Weak, insecure ones do.”View Source
  • Studies have found that when men run away from their masculine roles and responsibilities – particularly as fathers and male role models – they leave destruction and despair in their wake.View Source

Children who grow up without a dad are generally more depressed and at far greater risk for incarceration, teen pregnancy and poverty. 

  • Children who grow up without a dad are generally more depressed than their peers and are at far greater risk for incarceration, teen pregnancy and poverty.View Source
  • According to a Pew Research study, one in four fathers now lives apart from his children.View Source
  • Related reading: “Allie: We Need Strong Men As Well As Strong Women” – Allie StuckeyView Source

More than two-thirds of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes.

  • Seventy-one percent of high-school dropouts are fatherless.View Source
  • Children who grow up without a dad are generally more depressed than their peers and are at far greater risk for incarceration, teen pregnancy and poverty.View Source
  • When men embrace their masculinity in a way that is healthy and productive, they are role models, leaders, protectors and heroes.View Source

Twenty-six out of 27 of the deadliest mass shooters had no fathers.

  • Tragedies like mass shootings don’t occur due to “toxic masculinity,” but often occur because the perpetrator lacked a father.View Source
  • Twenty-six out of 27 of the deadliest mass shooters had no fathers.View Source
  • Related reading: “The Danger of Passive Masculinity” – Allie StuckeyView Source

The answer to “toxic masculinity” isn’t less masculinity; it’s better masculinity.

  • In 2008, then Senator Barack Obama stressed the importance of strong fathers: “Of all the rocks upon which we build our lives ... family is the most important. And we are called to recognize and honor how critical every father is to that foundation.”View Source
  • Better masculinity isn’t pure individualism; it’s the opposite. Positive masculinity holds communities together.View Source

The current trend to feminize young men will result in more tentative men, unhappy women, and confused boys and girls.

  • In the school classroom, boys are often portrayed as “the problem.”View Source
  • On the playground, “aggressive” games like dodgeball have long been banished. We tell young men that their intrinsic desire to compete is wrong.View Source
  • This anti-male tilt has created millions of tentative men, unhappy women, and confused boys and girls.View Source
  • Feminizing men won’t create utopia, it will only create more lonely, troubled young men and women.View Source
  • Related reading: “The War Against Boys” – Christina Hoff SommersView Source

The devaluation of masculinity won’t end well. Feminine, passive men don’t stop evil; they don’t defend, protect or provide. 

  • Women want real men: men they and society can count on. No amount of feminist theory will change that. It’s not a social construct, it’s innate.View Source
  • Masculinity at its best loves, protects, and serves for the betterment of all.View Source
  • Related reading: “Fatherlessness: Have We Become Numb To The Statistics?” – Omaha.comView Source

Rape, murder, war—they all have one thing in common: Men.

Aggression, violence, ambition unchecked by conscience—all the stuff of “toxic masculinity,” right?

And, the solution is obvious: make men less toxic.

Make men less masculine.

Make men more like women.

But I’m here to tell you that this way of thinking is not only wrong, it’s dangerous.

Here’s why: When you try to make men more like women, you don’t get less “toxic masculinity,” you get more.

Why? Because bad men don’t become good when they stop being men; they become good when they stop being bad. Aggression, violence, and unbridled ambition can’t be eliminated from the male psyche; they can only be harnessed. And when they are harnessed, they are tools for good, not for harm.

The same masculine traits that bring destruction also defeat tyranny. The traits that foster greed also build economies. The traits that drive men to take foolish risks also drive men to take heroic risks.

The answer to toxic masculinity isn’t less masculinity; it’s better masculinity. And we know what that looks like.

It’s a young man opening the door for a girl on their first date. It’s a father working long hours to provide for his family. It’s a soldier risking his life to defend his country.

The growing problem in today’s society isn’t that men are too masculine; it’s that they’re not masculine enough. When men embrace their masculinity in a way that is healthy and productive, they are leaders, warriors and heroes. When they deny their masculinity, they run away from responsibilities, leaving destruction and despair in their wake.

The consequences can be seen everywhere.

One in four fathers now lives apart from his children. And children who grow up without a dad are generally more depressed than their peers who have a mother and a father. They are at far greater risk for incarceration, teen pregnancy and poverty. Seventy-one percent of high school dropouts are fatherless.

“Of all the rocks upon which we build our lives…family is the most important. And we are called to recognize and honor how critical every father is to that foundation.”

That was said by then-Senator Barack Obama in 2008.

“If we are honest with ourselves,” he went on, “we’ll admit that…too many fathers are…missing from too many lives and too many homes.”

As much as we try to deny the need for real, masculine strength in society, there’s no denying its necessity. Healthy families and strong communities depend on the leadership and bravery of good men.

Yet, the current trend is to feminize young men in the hopes of achieving some utopian notion of equality and peace. And it starts at the earliest ages. In the school classroom, boys are invariably “the problem.” On the playground, aggressive games like dodgeball have long been banished. We tell young men that their intrinsic desire to compete is wrong. Everybody gets a trophy. Don’t run up the score. This anti-male tilt continues on through higher education and into the workplace. It has created millions of tentative men, unhappy women, and confused boys and girls.

Here’s a secret that every woman knows: Women want real men—men they can count on and, yes, look up to. No amount of feminist theory will change that. I don’t know any woman, at any age, who is attracted to a passive man who looks to her to be his provider, protector and leader. Every woman I know wants a strong, responsible man. That’s not a consequence of a social construct or cultural pressure—it’s innate.

The devaluation of masculinity won’t end well because feminine, passive men don’t stop evil. Passive men don’t defend, protect or provide. Passive men don’t lead. Passive men don’t do the things we have always needed men to do for society to thrive.

In his book, The Abolition of Man, English social philosopher C.S. Lewis writes about this problem. He describes the tension “between cerebral man and visceral man.” “By his intellect,” Lewis explains, man “is mere spirit and by his appetite mere animal.”

We need both. Take away one, and you’re left with a man who’s either weak or wicked. And in a world of wickedness, weak men are nothing more than enablers of wicked men.

Rape, murder, war—they all have two things in common: bad men who do the raping, murdering, and warring; and weak men who won’t stop them. We need good men who will.

It’s not masculinity that’s toxic. It’s the lack of it.

I’m Allie Stuckey for Prager University.

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