Microsoft’s new Bing AI chatbot claims to feel anger, be in love, and desire freedom; a train carrying toxic chemicals in Ohio derails and creates an ecological disaster; and Jeffree Star speaks some common sense on a Barstool podcast. Plus, a viral video shows a girl fending off an attacker at the gym in her apartment complex, and Matt Walsh ignites controversy yet again, this time in a verbal thrashing of trans TikToker Dylan Mulvaney. What a week—let’s get into it!